why? why? i ask myself this so many times. is it me or something about me tat i just attract the jerks or the unattainable? I'm still trying to figure this shit out myself.

I see pple with wat i want and i am not afraid to admit tat i want the same thing but im sacred of trying for fear of being burnt. I don want to invest in any relationship anymore and not see it take fruit. I'm too old for this shit and i might enjoy my work(sometimes) and relish the tot of money in my account, that doesn't make me want the need for companionship any less.

The England thing wasn't working anymore. as much as i want to bask in the feeling of being loved for awhile it doesn't take away the emptiness i feel when i see pple together or getting hitched and it has been happening more often recently.

i know i sound like a brat now, i want but i am not ready to take the risk. i dont know but i want to have that feeling once again. honestly, i want that feeling of being in someone.
watch this space...

im tired

I am so sick and tired of trying. Trying to be perfect, trying not to offend anyone, trying to be all i can be. Its not fair. I have worked my butt off these past weeks and it really hurts when someone comes along and disregards everything i'have done. but its ok, but I'm so tired, physically and emotionally. lets just see how things go... lets hope i don't collapse.

8th December 2008

Well, what an ordinary weekend once again..although not exactly cos he called this weekend to my utter surprise...wasn't expecting tat(honestly i was hoping he would). Had quite an interesting conversation, even though i blushed through the all thing.

why are pple so dim? I cannot imagine being this dull, you hire someone to do a job and u equip them with the tools to do the job effectively. so why oh why do we expect perfection when you haven't provided the person with the right tools...i cannot perform magic with the limited sources i have but as the average Nigerian saying goes; he go better!!!
Or don't you agree?

5th December 2008

still at work...and im aching with anticipation .....its been awhile since i felt like this about anyone. its been awhile since i'have tasted the forbidden fruit but i just cant help myself....only time will tell where this will lead but i cant wait .....im having goosepebbles all over just playing these images in my head... i want you and im nothing's goin to stop me from having you...

you know who u are...